Introverts Alone-verts Lonely-verts

Many people today commonly dismiss introverts when they claim to feel lonely even with a crowd. Isn’t that like whining about having nothing to eat when opening up a full refrigerator? Whatever happened to their social skills?
I happen to sympathize with these lonely brave souls, though, perhaps because I am one of them.

Growing up homeschooling, I wanted to break the typical home-school kid stereotype, so I had friends, I went to camps, and I joined many events. However, I had an introverted personality, which made me fall back into the stereotype. Often times my friends would neglect my existence because of my silence during their conversation; they would meet with their classmates from school, leaving me unaccompanied and forgotten back in the corner. At camp, I ate my lunch alone, spent free time alone, and sat in the back alone. Not that I wanted to isolate myself from people, but the circle of people kept pushing me out of the circle whenever I tried to join a crowd. I felt alien with the crowd.

Having an introvert personality, I fear large groups, since it easily makes me feel left out, ignored, forgotten, or even unimportant. Some people scoff when hearing this, how can someone feel lonely in a crowd, especially introverts who enjoy staying alone? Truth always shocks the people—introverts do feel lonely in the crowd.

Loneliness starts slipping in towards the introvert when a conversation begins in a group. In order to continue and engage in a conversation, the people should understand the events in the conversation. Introverts, under various circumstances, have a hard time engaging in these small talks. Whenever my friends start chatting, I feel puzzled and wander among the words they chatter, they talk about school, movies I did not watch, and random events I did not attend. Talking about unfamiliar topics, I fail to respond and engage with them. When I bravely start a new topic to talk about, people ignore me, disheartened, I allow loneliness to devour me little by little. Eventually, I end up sitting awkwardly in the crowd, however, forgotten by those amicable people, no matter how much I struggle to run away from loneliness, I lack choice but to embrace it.

To further explain, people misunderstand alone and lonely due to their similar definition. Although in reality, these two words have significant differences and effects. Alone defines a physical situation when a single person stays separated from others—a situation which people can see. Loneliness represents a mental situation, an emotion people feel inside—indiscernible to the naked eyes generally. Moreover, people can have happiness when they have time alone, also numerous activities require spending time alone, such as reading, writing, and drawing. Loneliness, on the other hand, only brings negative emotions, and none of the activities require loneliness to accomplish. Even though introverts enjoy spending time alone, this does not mean that they enjoy loneliness at the same time; they feel every single emotion just like everyone else does, including loneliness. Introverts do not feel alone in a crowd, but they feel lonely, an unseen struggle of depression.

Overall, when introverts say they feel lonely in the crowd, instead of misinterpreting them for whining for attention, take care of them, talk with them, or just sit with them, it takes an extreme amount of bravery to say it out loud. Most times introverts fall silent when they feel lonely and depressed, they would silently curl up behind in the corner trying to make themselves look like they are staying alone rather than being lonely, and would try to fight loneliness by themselves. When introverts talk, please do not ignore them, they bravely decided to speak up, let them know people hear them and the importance of their existence in the crowd, most importantly, let them know they do not need to feel lonely in the crowd. I say, why not try to find out those lonely introverts in the crowd and get to know them? They might turn out crazier and funnier than the extroverts!

Rose