April in Review
|| THE WORDS
what I’ve been writing and some quotes I love
Forget.
People forget a lot of things. They forget their promises, they forget the
existence of some people, they forget the messages they never replied, and they
forget that they forget... Will people finally remember my existence when
I disappear? Oh, what a doleful thought. But sometimes it seems like they
actually prefer to forget rather than remember.
- a random short story I wrote -
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- a random short story I wrote -
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“I mean,
Joshua isn’t the most genial person to be around, but his mom is really nice
and I couldn’t decline her, besides, I didn’t have anything to do today.” Avery
stretched her arms. “But I’ve been asking everyone around but no one has seen
him.”
“It’s as if
he just vanished out of nowhere…” I leaned my chin on my hand. Is this
related to what happened last night? Is Joshua missing related to Robert?
“Out of
nowhere…” Robert murmured. We fell in silent; I could hear the birds chirping
on the tree. Suddenly, Robert’s eyes lightened up with terror as he stared at
me.
“I think I
know what happened to him.” Robert’s voice was trembling.
(This is an excerpt from I see
you in colors, I was just messing it around, so this isn't really a part of the
story.)
||THE ARTS
some artsy things I did
So, I did make some cards:
And I have been working on my
project; I’m hoping that I could finish it before my birthday in May. Prior to completion, its information shall remain concealed.
|| THE PONDERING
what I’ve been thinking about
- "You're really cool and let people know that." Thanks.
- Scars do fade, but it's going to
take a while, just make sure you don't tear up the wound again.
- Post it on social media, or not?
Let’s post it. Oh, let’s delete it, no one cares anyway.
- Not fitting in isn't as bad after
all. Being semi-invisible isn't that bad. I actually enjoy it to a certain
degree.
- "Anything that steals your
love for Jesus should be shunned from your life".
- See, He does provide for you. You
just need to have faith and be patient.
- Why do I keep getting caught up
with things from a school I don't even attend?
- I fear that after we go on each on
our way we’ll gradually forget each other’s existence.
- No. Sorry, but this time, I
say no.
|| THE SONGS
what music I have been listening to
One Step at a Time - HIS Story The Musical
One Step at a Time - HIS Story The Musical
Yes, another song from the musical.
This song hit me hard, "You don’t have to fear, you don’t have to doubt/
If you started to sink I would pull you out".
I like his chill vibe. For some
reason, I enjoy a lot of songs that have somehow melancholic mood more than upbeat ones, haha.
Yup, it’s Lauv again. His songs are
perfect for rainy days or late nights.
So this is one of the songs we sang
during last fall youth camp. I was organizing my playlists and I came across
the song. It made me nostalgic because I could picture in my mind vividly, how
my friends and others were singing this song while I was standing in the back,
watching them dance to this song.
I saw this song on my friend Rebekah
R.’s Instagram story so I decided to check it out, and I’m so happy that I did.
This entire song resonated with me so much. I strongly suggest you check
this song out.
|| THE SPARKLES
some small things I’ve been enjoying
and the memories
Hanging out with Daniel R. at the
Olympic green.
Longboarding at the Olympic Park.
A kid at the Sunday school kid drawing a portrait of him and me.
Making matcha bubble tea at home.
Baking cookies for youth group.
Seeing my friend Alisha again!!
Attempting busking with my friends.
Reviewing my past notes from the youth camps.
Spring break!
Doing senior pictures with Sam.
Video calling with my fellow moderators.
Easter, HE has RISEN.
Road trip with my family.
A random sun ray coming into the room
Taking my friend's senior pictures and getting ice cream.
Printing out some cards to sell.
Eating 串串 and hanging out with Esther.
"Studying" calculus with Esther and Daniel B. at Starbucks after church.
|| THE DOINGS
what I’ve been up to this month
April started off great and I’ve
been pretty stable throughout the month, but it also makes me doubt whether I
have grown or not during this month.
I’ve noticed I haven’t posted
anything on my Instagram since February, there’s not much on my Wechat moments
either; maybe I should update some things… But in general, I’ve been struggling
with posting things on social media (thanks to my tendency to overthink). I
would ask myself whether what I post will be appropriate, is the caption good,
will it evoke jealousy, is it showing myself off, and etc and etc. I took my
blog and youtube links down from Wechat because I felt like it makes me look
like I’m trying to grab attention from people. Social media makes me
self-conscious, although I’m not sure why in specific… it just does.
During spring break, Grace (my
younger sister) got sick so our family, spent quite a lot of time in
our house for the month, (yes, we’re homeschooled so we stay home a lot,
regardless of being sick or not *cough*) which allowed me to think more rather than actually working on my
project as I should have. I almost started to get sick as well, but luckily the
sickness didn’t get me completely. Whew.
For the first time, I took senior portraits for someone--my friend Emma B. I was pretty worried because I still feel like I'm a mere beginner in photography. Also, senior pictures are pretty significant, and I wasn't sure if I could do it well. In the end, I think it turned out pretty well? Here's one of the photos I took.
*trying to remember what I did in
April * Alas, my memory is failing me.
Oh my senior
biography is up on our school magazine, feel free to check it out: https://clay.at-tps.org/2019/04/29/rose-zhang-tps-senior-2019/
||THE FUTURE
what I plan (or at least try) to do in the upcoming month
Wow. May. January feels like only a
few weeks ago and May is right here already.
I’m slightly apprehensive toward
this upcoming month (but let’s be honest, when was I not intimidated about the
future?). The youth camp, upcoming AP tests that I don’t feel ready for, finals, summer
break, preparing props for the play, visa stuff, finishing up my project, and
turning 18.
I don’t feel ready for my AP tests; I’m really worried since
the tests are in the week right after the Youth Camp, but when was I truly
ready for things?
May will be the last month I could spend with most of my
friends, they will either be moving or going to America to prepare for college
by the end of May and early June. Some part of me tells me I’m not ready to say
goodbye while another part is already numb from all the goodbyes. I guess a
transient city does do something to you.
Really hoping that I can make the most out of the short time
I have.
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