March in Review
|| THE WORDS
what I’ve been writing and some quotes I love
I didn’t write much this month, being occupied and so caught up inside my head, and unmotivated to do a lot of things, I didn’t felt like doing anything productive.
…. She swallows the flames
so only she’ll burn inside
the smiles she put on
hides the pain of her burning heart
slowly turning into ashes
slowly becoming numb …
(if you want to read the entire thing, email, text, or just get in contact with me and I'll send it to you.)
(if you want to read the entire thing, email, text, or just get in contact with me and I'll send it to you.)
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Some quotes/Bible verses:
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4
“The proper stuff of fiction” does not exist; everything is the proper stuff of fiction, every feeling, every thought; every quality of brain and spirit is drawn upon; no perception comes amiss. – Virginia Woolf, The Modern Fiction.
||THE ARTS
some artsy things I did
I’ve done more art compared to February.
I finally finished the painting I was working on for months.
I drew a flower, but I haven’t decided what to do this flower design. Perhaps I’ll make it into a screensaver?
Also, I do have a few, actually, one photo I took during March. As I previously said. It was an unproductive month… Anyways, this is a cake I made for my dad's birthday, probably the most prettiest cake I have ever made so far.
|| THE PONDERING
what I’ve been thinking about
- I’m getting better at socializing perhaps? Oh. Actually not, I take that back.
- God has his perfect plan for me, I might not understand what’s happening right away, but in the end, I’ll look back and see him through it all. So have faith, trust in him, even when it’s hard.
- I’m okay, I’m doing good, I’m okay. Wait am I actually okay? I don’t even know now.
- Why do I indulge myself to sink into the darkness when the light is right over there, why do I keep criticizing myself and abase myself when I know I’m enough in Him. What is wrong with me?
- I’m sorry I keep hiding things from you, but I just can’t burden you with my issues when I know you are already struggling yourself.
- I don’t want to do anything, I just want to curl up in a corner and sit there, overthink, watch the time tick by and have a quiet time. But I don’t have the time to do so.
- Is this right, or is this wrong? I made the decision but I regret it at the same time, is protecting myself a valid excuse for making this decision?
- Funny how trivial things can affect my emotions so much.
- in the last minute, he pulled me back from the cliff and hold me close. Telling me, look, I promised that I have great things for you, remember?
|| THE SONGS
what music I have been listening to
Grow As We Go – Ben Platt
Grow As We Go – Ben Platt
I love this song. I just love it. It reminds me it’s okay even if I’m not perfect right now, 'cause I’ll grow as I go.
Actually, I like all of the songs that have been released from this musical. This song is about the angel visiting Mary, telling her the message. The musical is about Jesus’s life, written by an 18 years old girl (what am I doing with my life?). There's another song called Condemned from this musical, which is also amazing. Can’t wait for the entire musical to be released!
I really like her vibe XD, she’s definitely one of my favorite Korean artists.
Usually, I don’t listen to Chinese songs because… they usually don’t match my taste in music. But I really liked this one.
Hm, I don’t remember where I found this song, but it encouraged me a lot. “You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held/ Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place” Stop holding on to my fear, and turn my eyes onto him, trust it in his hands.
When we sang this song at small group, it spoke to me so much and almost brought me into tears. He’s always waiting; he’s always there, “Better is a moment that I spend with you than a million other days away.”
|| THE SPARKLES
some small things I’ve been enjoying and the memories
Watching How to Train a Dragon 3 and dying from the cuteness
Making bubble tea with my friend and just chilling at her house
Getting my braces off!
Writing some cards.
Celebrating my dad’s birthday.
Playing tennis with our youth leaders.
Getting coffee in my cute snoopy mug.
Going to my friend’s art exhibition!
Receiving a flower from a little boy at my Sunday school class.
My friends caring me and asking me how I’m doing every day for almost a week (I don’t deserve these friends).
Making dumplings at small group.
Calling the college and finding out that I have been accepted. He has brought me a smile.
FINALLY getting to know where I’ll be going for college.
Watching my friend graduate. Ahh I’m so proud.
|| THE DOINGS
what I’ve been up to this month
What have I’ve been up to? Not much. As I look back, the entire month is a haze.
Mainly I wasn’t in a good mental state most of the times. I would want to sit on my desk and do nothing while I had a pile of works I needed to finish.
This month was …fraught. I received most of my college decisions this month and most of them were discouraging. My parents were just as anxious as I was (probably a little more anxious than I was XP). However, I did receive an acceptance from a college at the end of the month, I couldn’t express how much joy I felt when to have a college that would accept me. That moment I was reassured that God does have a great plan for me and he’ll never let me down (I mean even if I didn’t get accepted to any colleges, he still has a great plan for me).
One of the highlights of this entire month would be seeing my friend. I haven’t seen him since October and it was great to see him again, hang out together, and talk in person.
Overall, March was challenging, but through it all, I think I grew a little stronger.
||THE FUTURE
what I plan (or at least try) to do in the upcoming month
Easter is coming! Spring break is coming!
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