February in Review
Alas, my computer's VPN didn't work these past several days, so this post has been delayed. But well, later is better than never.
|| THE WORDS
what I’ve been writing and some quotes I love
I did write a little, but there’s not a lot to share in particular …
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Some quotes/Bible verses:
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" – Psalm 147:3
For English class, we were reading some poems by Christina Rossetti, and I found this poem quite amusing: “No thank you, John” If you ever need to friend-zone a guy, this is your poem.
||THE ARTS
some artsy things I did
I’ve noticed I haven’t done much art either… I do have a few photos I took during February.
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| Chinese New Year's Dumplings |
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| Bikes on Wudaokou's street |
|| THE PONDERING
what I’ve been thinking about
- Why does socializing drain me so much? It wasn’t like this before.
- We’re in a loop, a loop everyone is aware of, but no one attempts to break it. Maybe, just maybe, will I be able to break it?
- Am I the villain in someone else’s story?
- His timings are perfect, although it may seem like forever in my shallow perspective. Have patience.
- The deep dark fear that the ones you love don’t like you at all, they’re just too polite and kind to tell you the truth.
- When you help others to walk out the forest of darkness, you will face the darkness they are facing as well. Am I ready?
|| THE SONGS
what music I have been listening to
This song is so cute, but it's also a little melancholic. You can find the English translation for the lyrics over here. "All she learned was/how to run away". I suppose we all have the instinct to hide and curl ourselves into a ball like a hedgehog when we face difficulties.
I'm not sure how I came across this song, but I really love it, it reminds me of Narnia. Especially the line, "We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe."
No specific comment needed for this song.
Just a little chill song.
|| THE SPARKLES
some small things I’ve been enjoying and the memories
Eating hot pot with my dear friends.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Sitting before my desk at night and watching the fireworks goes off in the sky
Staring at people playing video games
Empty subway and streets in Beijing.
Catching up with my old friend.
Waking up to see it’s snowing in Beijing.
Meeting new people at youth and actually talking to them.
Getting ice cream for a surprise right when I was craving for it.
Successfully paying my AP Latin test fee after struggling for over a month.
Seeing that I got a message from my friend when I wake up in the morning.
Trying out a new hairstyle and getting used to it gradually.
Getting a winter break!
Watching a movie while drinking homemade milk tea.
|| THE DOINGS
what I’ve been up to this month
At the beginning of February, it was really calm. Everyone was off for vacation and break and the people in Beijing were all going back to their hometown. I appreciated how quiet and empty the streets, subway, and the city was. In such a busy city, it seemed as if Chinese New Year was the only few days everything can calm down and pause for a second. Even though I had no breaks for Chinese New Year, I enjoyed those two weeks.
Well, looking back I feel like it was a very low-productive month, I haven’t accomplished many tasks other than school and overthinking things in my head rather than actually moving into actions.
I tried to be more outgoing once, but I ended up extremely drained afterward, needing to recharge the entire next day. However, I also realize if I keep fading out in the background, I would never be able to develop relationships with people, and I won’t be really there with them. So no matter how daunting and draining it may be, I want to keep pushing myself outside my comfort zone a little.
I’ve been contacting one of my colleges, and I was a little frustrated because I was moved from regular decision into rolling admission. A little disappointment and frustration were involved, but on the bright side, I wasn’t rejected, at least just yet.
||THE FUTURE
what I plan (or at least try) to do in the upcoming month
As March begins, the choir and the drama team would be starting back again, I'm excited and a little struck at the fact that this would be my last semester with the choir and the drama team.
For the coming weeks, I’m hoping to finish the short play before March 9th, make some cards for upcoming birthdays, and do some sketches for my story.
At the end of March, my college results would begin to roll in, and I’m scared, as I always am with a lot of things. My mom was asking me what I’d do if I end up getting rejected by all the colleges I applied. To be honest, I was a little annoyed of that conversation (haha sorry mom XP), I mean who likes to think about getting rejections? Nevertheless, I’m trying to give all my worries about the future to him, although it’s really hard to let go.
Only three more months till school ends, only about twenty days till college results will begin to release, time keeps running and it never stops. I hope I would make the most out of these precious times He has given me.
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